Confession –


I feel so awful – – – I truly love and respect you – – – I know it sounds weird – but – it’s true. 

As you, of course, know – — I was not ‘in Australia’ – nor am I the beneficiary of a large inheritance – (my great uncle was Lewis Weeks, all that is true, along with my cousin Kermit and his eccentric and excessive lifestyle from what was once the largest private family royalty in the world).. . .

What I told you about dropping out of high school, meeting my father – — all true. . . 

He lives in Naples, FL – — Retired from running a vacation rental service . . . well off, but not particularly wealthy . . . 

Also, not particularly interested in his son . . . not trying to get sympathy, just a wry observation . . . 

I suppose I told you all those things because it was easier than telling the truth: part of which I did share . . .

My wife is the professional  – — she has graciously allowed me to not work (although, I did work until we paid off our bungalow in South Minneapolis – that is also true

[near George Floyd Square, where we were when Mr. Floyd was arrested – also true]

I do not work now, however – — I am a sort of self-styled ‘private intellectual’ – quite obsessed with various intractable problems plaguing the Christian intellectual tradition . . . 

My wife, Laurel, believes in me enough to allow me to pursue these passions without the burden of the sort of non-professional work I can get without a college degree – — (at this point superfluous to maintaining our lifestyle)

She and I, in discussing our conversation, both agreed the only thing to do was be completely honest – – –

I am so sorry I lied – when we first spoke – and when we last spoke – coming into and going out of the blog . . .I was intimidated by you – maybe thought it would impress you – — (too much like my father, after all, perhaps) – – 

I became quite depressed and overwhelmed with the – relative – chaos of the blog work leading into the launch and finally just had to leave . . . but I didn’t have to lie – – – of course I already had, so it was far too easy to do . . .I really meant what I said: you are a far better witness to the ethos of Christianity as: 

Unconditionally loving in life

– and – 

Uncompromisingly critical in thought

than the vast majority of the church. 

I would very much like to be of use to you – reading, running a Discord – whatever – (I’m afraid money might not be the best outlet) – because I believe so much in what you do . . .I won’t ask you to forgive me – – but – – I wanted you to know the truth- – – you deserve to know – — You have been nothing but honest, kind, and generous to me . . . 

I really do think you would enjoy Roy’s manuscript – – and – – I sincerely hope that you would not refrain from reading it because of my own failings and betrayal of trust . . .

(probably you’re just too damn busy!) 

I completely respect that – but – include it anyway – – – just as a token of my sincere regret for my lack of courage and integrity . . . Most of all, I regret poisoning the well of our conversation and the rare opportunity – so many would envy – to speak to you personally – – – – and there I was – not even myself – – – 

You were gracious and loving, as ever – – – even offering the advice and contact – along with your name – to Roy  – – – – I am quite overwhelmed by your generosity in the face of my – at that point – obvious duplicity – – –

Further confirmation of all I believed you to be . . . 

I am so sorry that I was not what I led you to believe I was.

Thank you – – – If you got this far – – –  Thank you, again – – – I hope, and pray, you do write that book – on the history of critical approaches to Christianity – I think it would make a big difference and be a fitting addition to your already impressive and enduring legacy . . .I know I will be eager to read it

for you,

C. W. 

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