– Colossians 1:15-17

Self-deception in the life of the Christian is an insidious thing. We often find ourselves undertaking a fool’s errand in the service of nothing more than a self-righteous piety. Suppose you discover, much to your horror, that you have made something of an idol out of a mere created thing (be it visible or invisible). You have abandoned your purported first love and taken on a mistress. I suspect for most of us this is not difficult to imagine. For most of us, there is nothing to imagine, as it is all too real – either a recent memory or perhaps a present reality.

How do we respond to this discovery? -

We may seek to correct our mistake by disengaging, by abstaining, from the illicit affair. So repulsed are we at our infidelity, we may weep bitterly. Some tears may even be shed for the dear thing we’ve now lost; given up through the sheer force of our own self-determination. We are determined to have no other gods before him. So, we identify our idols and cut off their heads, throwing them into the fire.

Yet, soon there will come another unpleasant discovery and, later, another still. Didn’t Calvin say that the heart is an idol factory? – We take some shallow comfort in the universality of our experience. Perhaps, we might even take some satisfaction in the fact that we engage ourselves in this pious work at all – pitying those who are so ignorant and backwards as to worship their idols without thought or care. We are not like them.

No, we are not like them. The depth of our self-deception and the heights of our hypocrisy are far greater than theirs. For they are at least consistent in their rebellion – they make no claims to ‘having seen the light’

We do. Even so, we deceive ourselves by arbitrarily choosing the chief distraction – the whore of the moment – and picking up stones to do away with her ourselves. Having identified what is a real error, we all too often fail to address its root. The heart is an idol factory. It is that factory that must be destroyed.

Idolatry is rooted in a false prioritization of anything before the living God. This essence of all evil is produced in us by the opposite of faith. It is birthed out of our self-determination. Idols are made when we claim for ourselves the exclusive right to uphold the universe by the word of our own power – when we claim that anything has its true meaning, its ultimate significance, in our acceptance, apprehension, and estimation of it. In short, we can only suffer idolatry when we apply the edict: perception equals reality.

Of course, in order for an edict to be effectual, it must be backed by an appropriate authority. In asserting this metaphysical edict of our own authority (since it is nothing more than that itself), we make ourselves out to be God. We take on for ourselves that queer claim of Jesus Christ that is the great offense of the gospel. In short, we blaspheme.

It is nothing more or less than self-righteous empty human religion to deconstruct endlessly our idolatrous relationships to the created order – to play the martyr and embrace a masochistic, so-called, self-denial – while failing to recognize that the true competitor to the living God is not whatever we have presumed to destroy but is, in fact, ourselves. We are, in point of fact, no better off than our pagan friends – no more capable to deliver ourselves from the folly of our self-deception. We are no more ready to recognize than they that real justice and righteousness demand that we cut off – not the head of the harlot – but our own. We fail to see that it is our own person that must be thrown into the fire.

Until we refuse to labor in the factory of our hearts and instead set fire to its walls, we have no claim to true religion or the living God. We must do more than simply deny ourselves something. We must deny ourselves.

“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

– Matthew 16:25

- Psalm 30:5

The first day of winter has brought us the first falling of snow. It is an inescapable reminder of the vividness of creation, as Christ upholds it. He makes all things new.

God is merciful in the changing of seasons. For we are so prone to complacency in our fallen condition that we are like whitewashers of an entirely different sort. We don’t coat our fallow ground with an insulating blanket to reflect the brilliance of light, which brings the warmth of hope, until the plow comes in its season. No, our coating is a vain deadening that knows no end. It pretends peace and if it knows anything of light, it is only in refraction.

It takes a God given change in the whole landscape to finally cause me to stop my efforts to create beauty and sit silently to behold His.

Travel can induce a kind of artificial contentment. What beauty we refuse to see in our own backyard often screams at us from across an ocean. What sorrow a painter would feel if he knew his masterwork was finally hauled up to the attic, to make friends with the dust, in return for his generosity in loaning it for so long.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

- Lamentations 3:22-23

He knows our fickle hearts and has compassion on us. His paint has not only colour – but – movement and life; always fluid to meet us where we are. Joy is a mercy that is new every morning for those whose eyes have been opened to light and blinded to darkness.

Snow-blind,

C. W.

If we live in God’s grace,
We’ll see all that we ought.

People say that perception equals reality. However, the reality of perception is that it is, no more or less than, the determining factor in the question of real knowledge vs. self-deception concerning what is. Perception does not equal reality. It merely determines whether we benefit from a proper understanding of it.

We saints often find ourselves in a fog of false fellowship, motivated by nothing but the sake of appearances, we forget the reality of perception and despise what we know to be true. Chiefly, that truth exists and can be known in Christ.

A. W. Tozer said that true revival only results from a critical mass of individuals who are, themselves, independently seeking God. He called it ‘heart religion’.

I call it damning.

Do you fancy yourself a revolutionary? – Real change (that pleases God) is born first in the prayer closet of the desperate broken-hearted saint.

Prayer is the realization of God’s will – both for the saint and for God.

Prayer is the answer to the saint’s – What

We realize His will in the substance of our prayers, which is, itself, given us by the Spirit. In this way, we (literally) come to the realization of God’s will in what we pray.

Prayer is the answer to God’s – How

God chooses prayer as the means to bring about the end of His will in this age because He works in no uncertain terms so as to never be robbed of His glory. In this way, God has ordained that our prayers serve (literally) as the realization of His will on earth.

O that I would realize His will

In prayer,

C. W.

- G. K. Chesterton

It is merciful of God to prevent those of us moving in our own strength from speaking His words in power by His Spirit. A mercy and a necessity. For, if it be He who works, it will be in no uncertain terms. So, I find myself both thankful and ashamed that I held my tongue so well at Thanksgiving. It will not do to say what ought have been said, in love, then and there, in vanity, here and now. No, I thank God for His mercy – and knowing it – even in rebellion – receive it in forgiveness.

It does start me thinking though . . . thinking on what repentance and obedience look like when the commanded and sovereign wills of God collide in our experience.

So it is that I find myself in my current circumstance – undoubtedly – as a result of, perhaps countless, decisions made apart from faith – and – apart from God. That is to say, I have violated His commanded will.

Yet, I know that – even in my rebellion – my very sinful actions serve to prove God’s will. For, everything serves to prove God’s will and His will is never proven in vain. That is to say, I am only, ever, and always having my being within the sovereign will of God.

So, what of my current situation? – - – - – Should I be scurrying about to correct my mistakes – that is, by undoing their ramifications (my very life, such as it is)?

It is interesting – and, oh so, liberating – to know that when we know God in repentance, and His grace in help to keep His commandments – He allows us peace and rest in His sovereign will. So much so that we can say:

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

- Romans 8:28

I was called to not sit idly by and let darkness pass unanswered by the light – even, and perhaps most especially, when that darkness is found in my own family. Yet…

there, to my great shame, I found myself company for the nights unrepentant misery.

Now, it is left for me to weep – knowing that while my silence is worked together by God for my own good – it bears witness, in stark contrast, to His wrath being proven against them.

Yet, my calling still remains, by His grace He shall make me, and His will, perfect in it.

O to be humble – it is to give voice to the truth!

It was Van Till who suggested that real boldness only comes from absolute humility -

God answers the prayers of His saints…

Praying for a humble voice

To speak at a total loss,

C. W.

P.S. – I believe in ‘the best of all possible worlds’ (I have to), I live in it.